How can therapy help me?

Therapy can help you become your own ‘best self’. What does this look like? You’ll be more able to tackle problems you can change and less distressed by things you can’t change. That often means learning behaviors that your parents didn’t teach you or you weren’t allowed to express, like crying when you’re sad, or expressing your anger effectively when you’re annoyed or even enraged, or laughing and enjoying yourself more often. It also helps you learn how to get along with difficult people with less stress.

Overall it helps you to have healthy relationships with yourself and others so that you’re happier.

What is therapy like?

It’s different with every therapist and every client. Studies show that the match between the you and the therapist is often the most important element in whether therapy works or not. You can only find this out by meeting and talking to each other. That’s why I recommend we first have a brief talk and then you come in for a first session: it’s free if you decide we’re not a match.

Does what we talk about in therapy remain confidential?

Yes.  There are some exceptions, but they’re rare. Two examples: If you’re thinking of suicide, or you know of children who are being beaten or sexually molested.

How long will I be in therapy?

In general, the bigger the changes you want to make, the longer the therapy. Some people find six sessions very adequate to their needs.  Others start changing, and find their growth process so exciting and helpful that they keep working at it for longer, sometimes six months, sometimes several years. People whose parents didn’t help them learn how to have satisfying relationships often find they want long-term help. You can choose to stop at any time.

Do you offer low-cost counseling?

Only for veterans. If you need low-cost counseling and are not a vet, you can get it from Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) interns who are often very good, but are just starting out on their journey to become therapists. Two places in Santa Barbara that offer counseling from MFT interns are Community Counseling and Education Center  https://ccecsb.org/ and New Beginnings http://sbnbcc.org/

Do you accept insurance?

No. I can provide a receipt (known as a ‘superbill’) that you can submit to your insurance company to see if they’ll reimburse you for an out-of-network provider.

How do I pick a therapist?

First, decide if the gender of the therapist is important to you, feel free to call me and ask for recommendations.

If it doesn’t matter, or you prefer to talk to a man, get in touch with me.

It’s important that you find a therapist you believe you can speak openly with about what matters to you. If either of us thinks you might be better served elsewhere, I can refer you to other therapists or resources.

Am I right the choice for you?

The short answer: neither of us knows. The best way to find out is to have a short 10-minute talk on the phone, then to come in for a full session so we can get a sense of each other.

Whatever you decide, I hope it’s insightful and creates positive changes in your life.